In an exchange of papers for the the Anglican Church of Canada, professor Robert Gagnon argues that:
Same-sex intercourse radically offends against God’s intentional creation of humans as “male and female” (Gen 1:27) and the definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman (Gen 2:24)." [Emphasis added]
I’d previously been skeptical of this argument by Gagnon, but now he has convinced me. I’m slapping my palm against my forehead, wondering why I didn’t appreciate his brilliance before.
To my eternal shame, I now know that by marrying and having children, my wife and I likewise radically offended against another aspect of “God’s intentional creation of humans" — as blue-eyed and brown-eyed.
Wait, you say: Genesis says nothing about blue-eyed and brown-eyed people. Ah, but the answer’s apparent: There were no blue-eyed people around in the time and place where Genesis was written. This conclusively proves that God intended for his people to be separated into blue-eyed and brown-eyed groups, and for each group to bear children of its own eye color.
(How do I know there were no blue-eyed people around when- and where Genesis was written, and that this was part of God’s plan to separate the eye colors? The same way the Genesis authors knew what happened at the dawn of humanity: through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, who is protecting my thoughts and writings from error just as he did for theirs.)
My wife will be as shamed as I am when I work up the nerve to tell her: Our mixed-eye-color marriage is a sin; our love is a lie; our children are the fruits of our wickedness.
What should I do to atone for my sin? That’s a tough one.
The Bible clearly condones men having multiple wives. So I suppose I could take an additional, blue-eyed wife, and we could do as God manifestly intended for those of our eye color, which is to produce blue-eyed kids. (Unfortunately for my wife, she’s not allowed to produce more brown-eyed kids with a brown-eyed man — according to the Bible, she gets only one mate in this lifetime, unless I happen to die [which just might happen shortly after she reads this part] .)
But there’s an infelicitous catch: Even though I know it radically offends God’s intentional creation, I simply don’t want to . . . "be with" a blue-eyed woman; it’s my brown-eyed wife whom I sinfully desire.
I guess my only choice is to live in celibacy, acknowledging the depravity of my love and my lust for someone of a forbidden eye color. And you other people in mixed-eye-color marriages had better go and do likewise . . . .
[End Jonathan Swift mode.]
As I said two and a half years ago, there may be valid arguments out there for prohibiting same-sex unions (I stress “may"). Gagnon’s isn’t one of them.
(Hat tip: TitusOneNine)
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